Shrinkage Happens

Even the most experienced of us make mistakes in laundering. I have two stories about sweater shrinkage. The Christmas my niece Clementine was five, I gave her a pink angora/mohair sweater I'd knitted for her. Clementine only got to wear it once. I had told my sister-in-law not to put in the dryer, but she did and it shrank several sizes and had to be given to Clementine's two-year-old sister. My sister-in-law reported that "there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth" on Clementine's part, adding to my mother, who lives half an hour's drive from my brother and sister-in-law's farm, "I'm surprised you didn't hear her screaming from here." After that I never gave my sister-in-law's children any items that needed special care. She had three children under six and it just wasn't fair to saddle her with extra work.

Then circa 2003, I, who until that point had never ruined anything in the wash in my life, shrank three sweaters in a six-week stretch. Fortunately they were thrift shop finds rather than handmade, but still. One was completely trashed but the other two shrank down into perfectly proportioned little sweaters, so I gave them to my niece Peaches, who was then about seven. I was told she got lots of wear out of them. And, for the next two or three years, Peaches would occasionally ask me, very hopefully, "Aunt Orange, did you shrink anything else in the wash lately?"

Do you have any horror stories about the time you shrank a hand-knitted item? Feel free to spill them in the comments section. There's nothing like laughing at someone else's hapless shrinkage story to make one feel better about one's own.

For the Knitter Who Loves to Read... Since There Aren't Too Many of the Other Kind

Yesterday's Beowulf sock pattern post got me wondering about other literary reference knitting projects, and the resulting internet search led me to Literary Knits: 30 Patterns Inspired by Favorite Books, by Nikol Lohr, which include patterns inspired by characters from classic books such as Pride and Prejudice, Moby Dick, The Catcher in the Rye, Jane Eyre, Dorian Gray, A Room With a View, Tess of the d'Ubervilles, The Golden Compass, The Chronicles of Narnia, and more. Some of the literary references are a stretch (the interpretations aren't very, well, literal), and some of the patterns aren't anything special in any way, but there are enough terrific patterns included that this book is worth buying. The patterns can be viewed on their respective pages on Ravelry, and I'll just share a few of them below.

This is the Anne of Green Gables pattern. You'll have to tell people that it is. Of course once those who have read Anne are told they'll get that it's knitted in brown and has puffed sleeves exactly like Anne's brown gloria Christmas dress, and serious Anne geeks will get that it has the "crowning glory" of two rows of puffs in the sleeve that are trimmed with brown ribbons.

This is the Daisy cloché. I hate the colour, but it's a nice, wearable design. Do try not to cheat on your husband with an old flame when you wear it, unless of course your husband is kind of a pig and already has a mistress, in which case you'll have to do as you think best.

This is the Phoebe jacket, and it's one of the designs that actually look like something the character would have worn. And if there were a Catcher in the Rye movie, this little imp could be cast on the spot to play Holden Caulfield's little sister.

These Laura Pinafores are supposedly inspired by the Little House on the Prairie books, and of course they look absolutely nothing like anything the little Ingalls girls would have worn. Even the costuming for Michael Landon's none-too-faithful seventies TV series got leagues closer than this. The designer writes that they are made in the spirit of prairie life, in which nothing was wasted. This is true, of course, and these scrap yarn jumpers are very cute and a great way to use up odds and ends of yarn, and I may just end up making one for my little grandniece, but I can't help wishing they'd at least used one blonde and one brunette model for this photo shoot instead of two blondes.

Very cute Scout "mockingbird" cardigan. Do make sure your little daughter isn't pestering the neighbours when she wears it.

This Gregor sweater is awesome and would be the ultimate Christmas present for the Kafka fan in your life. Or for a Naked Lunch fan if you've got one of those instead.

A Sock Pattern That is Literally Epic

Hwaet! Listen! Let me tell you a tale of a pair of socks, that in turn tell the tale of Beowulf, the epic Old English poem dating from between the 8th and early 11th century. The text begins on one sock and continues on the other, and of course the colours mimic that of an aged manuscript and dried ink. The pattern is available as a $5 download from Verdant Gryphon, and if you never cared for Beowulf and are feeling up to a typographical design challenge, you could always knit a different text into your socks. Just don't go with a Stephanie Meyer quote. Trust me on this one.

It gives me the vapours to think how long this project would take to make, but I have to admit this is the ultimate literary tribute and knitting project, and that if you work on these in an English literature class, your professor won't have the heart to tell you to put your knitting away.

Creative Knitting Spring 2013: A Review

Let's have a look at Creative Knitting's latest issue.

I've done my share of scrap yarn projects like this hat, just making them up as I went along. Most knitters have probably done the same, although this designer actually wrote up a pattern for it and sold it to a magazine. It makes you think.

Very pretty little purse, though that daisy sticking up at the side would drive me insane. It catches the eye but would also catch on everything else possible. I'd put it on the side of the purse or leave it off entirely.

I'd love to try turned wire knitting some time, but I think I'll wait until I come across a better pattern than this. This bracelet just looks like it's all bent out of shape.

Speaking of waiting for better patterns, this looks like knitting and beading's bastard stepchild. This could work as a bracelet, but as a necklace it's just hanging there limply, neither fish nor fowl, and neither scarf nor necklace.

It's the spring issue, Creative Knitting. Why are you giving us more cowl and fingerless glove set patterns? That said, I must admit this set is very pretty and graceful and suitable for late winter/early spring weather.

This looks like one of those Home Ec projects you make as an adolescent and are very proud of at first, but that within a few months becomes a source of embarrassment that you'd like to forget all about — if your older siblings would let you. But they won't forget, and if they're especially cruel they'll go behind your back to publish it in knitting magazine with a circulation of oh, 72,000 or so. This means war. It's diary publication or girlfriend- or boyfriend-stealing time.

This isn't bad. It's simple yet has a little interesting detail, and its standard fit and style will flatter most women.

This is probably supposed to look minimalist and contemporary but only looks not only unfinished but as though it shrunk in the wash.

This is probably supposed to be a relaxed, casual look, but it just looks sloppy and won't be flattering.

Here we have another sweater that calls itself asymmetrical and just looks as though it shrunk in the wash. Maybe the next time you do shrink a piece of your knitwear in the wash, you should just wear it with an insouciantly confident air and casually refer to it as the latest in asymmetrical style. It seems to be how the knitting designer pros do it.

This is a really cute child's cardigan. The tabs on the front make it look a little like something one of the von Trapp children would have worn, but it would have been on one of the cute little ones instead of the older one who snuck out her bedroom window to have a tryst with her Nazi boyfriend, so all is well.

I like this lace tunic on the whole, but I can't help thinking it's a little on the dowdy, drab side. I'd do a little tweaking to pep it up a bit: shorten the sleeves and hem, make the fit a little neater, and go with a fresh, spring-like colour.

The blurb for this pattern suggests that you can wear this wrap several different ways ("wear it buttoned at each side of the neck for a unique look, or simply fasten at the neck or shoulder as a long wrap"). It looks a little on the skimpy side when worn as a wrap and a little bit afghan-like, but somehow I am having a hard time condemning it. I may be biased in its favour because of the colour — green and teal is one of my favourite colour combinations. It would be easier to be objective about the patterns I review if they were in black and white, but it would also be far less of a pleasure to look at them.

This little cardi has two attributes that I normally condemn out of hand — it's cropped and too oversized — yet it looks attractive here. There are a couple of factors that make it work: it's worn over a dress which means it hasn't added another horizontal line to an outfit that already has one (as it would with a two-piece outfit); and it's lightweight and lacy enough that it has a shawl-like effect rather than bulking up the model's figure. If you're reasonably trim and intend to wear this over a dress, you can probably get away with it as well.

This top broke a couple of knitting design rules. For one thing, it looks like something the designer whipped up to use some leftover yarn. Not that there's anything wrong with leftover or scrap yarn projects (I have made many myself), but the end result should look deliberate and as though you wouldn't have changed a thing even if you had a truckload of yarn to choose from. This doesn't. And secondly, no sweater should make a woman look pregnant when she isn't.

Lovely little baby blanket!

I'm not crazy about this scarf, but I suppose it's wearable. I can't give those felted buttons a pass though, partly because they look random and pointless and partly because if I were to try to wear this scarf I'd somehow manage to catch them on things and whack myself in the face with them.

Love this scarf — the shape and the lace pattern are really sriking — though it does look a little overwhelming when worn with a tank top.

Very pretty rainbow scarf. I do like to see a variegated yarn put to good use.

Erhm. This isn't bad. It fits fairly well; it has an interesting texture. But if I wanted a pattern for a cute, textured summer top, I'd look a little further for something that looks just that little bit smarter and more finished. There are too many wonderful patterns out there for any knitter to have to settle for anything that just warrants a meh.

I'm not enthusiastic about these, but I suppose they could look cute and playful in the right kitchen. They're not terribly practical, though. Knitting isn't best fabric to wipe your hands on (think "gunk collecting in the weave") or to protect your hands from a high heat (think "scorch marks").

Inspirational words as a design element have been around for quite some time, and I suppose it was inevitable that someone would manage to come up with a way to incorporate them into a knitting project. These aren't by any means bad examples of their kind, but I do wish people would show a little more creativity and attitude when they choose "inspirational words". I've seen "Faith", "Believe", and "Hope" so often it would be refreshing and delightful to see words like "Question", "Challenge", and "Get Real".

This afghan is supposed to have a woven ribbon effect, and of course it does, but I am put off by the rather crude colour scheme and the "beginner project" look of it. I'd use a more sophisticated blend of colours to upgrade the look.

This not only screams "beginner project", it screams "little girl's beginner project". If you are a grown-ass woman wanting to make something for yourself, please trust me when I say that there are better beginner projects out there that you can be proud to wear in public rather than something you can only carry to your niece's tea party for her dolls.

Here we have a cowl that matches the purse just above. The same comments apply.

World's Fastest Knitter

According to the Guinness World Record's site, the world's fastest knitter is Miriam Tegels of the Netherlands, who set a world record by knitting 118 stitches in one minute back in 2006.






However, Tegels may have a serious contender in Scotland's Hazel Tindall, who in 2008 won an international knitting contest by knitting 262 stitches in three minutes.

Both these women seem like such mild, gentle types, but you just know that they're channeling some titanic aggression and drive to excel into their knitting. And I'm going to slink away and see if I can't finish the sweater I've been working on for the past month.

Coming up: the Creative Knitting Spring 2013 issue review is set to publish tomorrow!

Groundhog Daze

If you look out your window this morning and see this, you're definitely in for six more weeks of winter. Or six weeks of detox and rehab.

This groundhog toy pattern is called Godfrey the Groundhog, and you can buy it for $5.99 at the perhaps inaptly named Essential Knits.

Or you could get a free Ravelry pattern for a cute knitted toy your child will love off and play with all year round and save that $5.99 for new socks or put it towards the week's groceries or something. Not all holidays require theme stuff.

Cary Grant Knits for Victory

Here's a not-to-be missed clip from Cary Grant's 1943 movie, Mr. Lucky. I don't know what I love more about it: the way the women in the movie effortlessly strong-arm a rude and blustering Cary Grant into learning to knit, or the way he almost immediately learns to like it. As Lyn Zwerling says of the male prisoners she's teaching to knit in a Maryland men's prison, "They want to knit. They just don't know they want to knit."