Knit Simple Magazine Holiday 2012: A Review

In all fairness, before I begin reviewing some of Knit Simple's Holiday 2012 offerings, I should explain that I really don't care at all for Knit Simple or Knit.1 or any of the other beginner-level knitting pattern magazines out there. I've never bought a single issue. I'll look at a new issue when I see it on the news stand, but I always wind up flipping quickly through it, thinking, "Meh," and then put it back. I certainly recognize that such magazines fill an important and necessary niche in the market, that they give knitters who aren't yet very skilled patterns and technical instruction and other articles geared specifically for them, and that this is a unqualified good thing. The last thing I want is for beginner knitters to feel intimidated or unwelcome in knitting culture.

However, as someone who has been knitting for over thirty years, I don't select knitting patterns based on skill level but on aesthetics, calibre of design, and practical concerns. The level of time commitment required by a pattern used to be more of a factor for me, but a few years ago I decided I would rather begin knitting and sewing fewer, better-designed items than whipping up a lot of simple items as I used to. I've been much prouder of and more satisfied with the items I've made since I put that resolution into effect. And so I approach a review of a simple knitting magazine in much the same way an accomplished pianist would approach a John Thompson's Modern Course for the Piano— Grade Three booklet. Which is to say, expect at least some condescension.

That's not to say that simple knitting magazine patterns aren't worthy of review. There are very effective and attractive simple knitting patterns that even master knitters would be glad to make, but there are also many that look amateurish and tacky. And so I'm going to review them with the same care as I do any other knitting magazine, and I'd urge even the most uncertain of beginner knitters not to leave their taste at the door when choosing knitting patterns. You're putting your valuable time and money into making these items and you deserve to wind up with an item you're proud to wear.

That disclaimer over with, shall we have a look at some of Knit Simple's Holiday 2012 issue patterns?

I really like this one. I wish there were more sweater patterns with ballet necklines. It's so flattering.

I don't like the laddered effect in knitting — it always looks like runs, and catches on everything. Replacing the ladders with another stitch would have improved this hat.

Nice classic man's cardigan.

I'm not sure how I feel about the slipknot tie on this shawl. On the plus side, it's practical. This shawl should stay put. You won't have to constantly rearrange your shawl. On the minus side, you can't rearrange your shawl. That shawl can only be worn in that one particular way, and being able to drape a shawl to different effects is part of a shawl's attributes.

I'm not sure about these slippers. I don't like the leather cord in them, for one thing. It looks as though someone thought Grandma's slippers could be made into a man's by adding the decorative cord from a Stetson. It might look better if it were colour-matched to the yarn. Or you could go with some other kind of cord, such as grosgrain ribbon, or a shoelace. These slippers also look a little thin to me, and as though they might stretch out. There's a reason you often see slippers with very textured stitchwork to them, such as cables: textured slippers are thicker and warmer and hold their shape better.

Oh come on. Look, knitting magazine editors, and I'm talking to each and every last one of you, I'm trying to keep an open mind on boot toppers, but you're going to have to meet half way and come up with something that doesn't look like something produced during Craft & Cocktail Hour at the local senior citizens' home.

When the very cropped Spencer jackets came in several years ago, for what was possibly the first time since the Regency period, I thought they were the most universally unflattering trend I'd ever seen in my lifetime. They were cut to lie open and worn over separates, and they made a woman's torso look chunky and were particularly unkind to the look of her breasts. I literally never saw them do any woman any favours, regardless of how good her figure was, and I was relieved that the look only lasted a summer.

But when I see this Spencer-length sweater on this model, I have to admit she's carrying it off. I think the key to wearing a Spencer jacket or very cropped sweater successfully is a) only wear them if you are small or flat-breasted, b) wear it closed, c) wear it over a dress, not separates, and d) check out Jane Austen films for Spencer jacket inspiration and affirmation.

I forgot to mention when discussing the Spencer jacket rules above that you can wear an open Spencer jacket any way you want to if you're under ten. This is a really cute look. I like the idea of matching the knitted flower ornament to the dress, and this sweater would knit up so quickly that it would make sense to make one just to go with a specific dress or two.

The problem with double-breasted jackets and sweaters is that though they look good when you're buttoned up and standing up, they look bad when worn open and/or you're in any other position. Which will be most of the time, even for an adult. I don't like this colour combination either — unless your daughter dresses almost entirely in pink, how much of her wardrobe will this jacket go with? If you've got the skills to adapt this pattern, make it single breasted and in one colour, or at least in two colours that work with your daughter's clothes.

Love the flowers on this little purse, but hate all that loose yarn. I'd like to comment on the rest of the purse, but I can't see it.

Just adorable.

I don't even know what's going on with this design. Are the reindeer supposed to be half-mittens or puppets? And in either case, why put them on a scarf where the child's wearing of or playing with them will be brought to a halt by his throttling himself? There might be a cute "reindeer on the end of a scarf" pattern out there somewhere, but this isn't it.

Cute robot mittens. I'd make these for the kindergarten-and-under age group though. Rule #1 about knitting for a child is that said knitting shouldn't result in the child's getting beaten up at school.

Nice sweater. I've made something similar for one of my nieces that was all striped like the yoke in this one. It was called the scrap yarn sweater, for obvious reasons. This one would still use up a good amount of scraps and be more suited to a boy.

Very simple yet eye-catchingly pretty baby sweaters.

I just can't endorse knitting for pets. Do you really want to knit something that will get chewed to bits and that your pet may end up partially ingesting? And does that dog look happy to you? Maybe I could support knitting the pet cushion, but that's as far as it goes.

Mmm, luscious. I could take a nap under that afghan right this minute.

Lovely.

Um, I don't know what this is. Is it a cover for your hot water bottle? If so... I am not sure I would go to the trouble of making one since it's generally hidden away at the bottom of your bed and behind your back, but whatever. If it's a cushion, which I doubt because it's flat, your cushion doesn't need a turtleneck because it doesn't, you know, have a neck.

Classic shawl-collared man's cardigan.

Knitted pencil cases? Hadn't ever thought of it, but why not, and these are very pretty. I'd use a durable, washable yarn — something with nylon in it.

This looks like a pattern someone found in a seventies' era-homemaker's magazine. And that should have stayed there.

The same owl reworked, and it's still not working. I mean, my mother loves owls, and she would hate this.

At first I thought these were doilies, and now I think they are probably intended to be trivets. And they're not terrible, though these are maybe a little on the chintzy-looking side because of the doily-type colours, but I wouldn't make knitted trivets or potholders. They'd have to be washed often, and would get so ratty so quickly.

I don't know if this bag is lined, but if you should wind up making it and the pattern doesn't call for a fabric lining put one in anyway, unless you're planning on only using it to go to the market for a single garlic bulb. Knitted bags will stretch out very quickly, especially when they are knitted in light, lacy stitch like this one is. I don't really care for the style of this bag, but that's just personal preference. If you're the type to float around in Laura Ashley-style sundresses and a big straw hat in the summer, it can work for you.

This bag looks sturdier and more practical. And less frilly.

Not a fan of this design. Colour blocking seems to be back for the first time since the early nineties, and when you're living through the second coming of a trend, you're harder to convince. A lot of colour-blocked designs look a little lazy to me, as though they were just pieced together randomly and not a lot of effort was made to get the components to work as a whole. I'd do something with the join between the blue and black sections, maybe add a few lines of patterning in the two colours, to pull the two parts together. And I don't think I'd do the top in dark blue and black anyway. There isn't enough contrast to make the combination pop and they just look like they don't quite work. Gray and black might be a better combination for this design.

If you want to knit your own jewelry, you're probably going to have to buy yarn that very closely resembles metal, or even knit with fine gauge metal wire, rather than pulling from the scrap yarn bag. These just don't look convincingly like actual jewelry.

This picture was in the section of patterns Knit Simple designated as "For the Party Girl". I don't know what kind of party the editors had in mind, but I should think these would be perfect as an accessory for an Ugly Sweater party. They'd probably score the wearer a special prize, the prize for the Dumbest and Most Useless Knitted Accessory.

My guess is that since a buttonhole big enough to accommodate the big, square button on this scarf would be just too unsightly, that you wouldn't make one but would simply sew the button on and through both thicknesses of scarf. It's one way to make a scarf stay in place, and the button is over-sized because it was chosen to be an accent to the scarf, but I don't care for this particular example. Maybe this scarf could be a decent accessory in a different yarn with a button that's more attractive and complementary.

This is in the "For the Teacher" category of patterns. And I'm just going to say, don't make this for the teacher. She won't have any use for it and she won't feel as though she can throw out something that you worked so hard to make for her. She'll just be stuck with a cute but useless item for the rest of her life, and will resent it, and even that low-level resentment can do your child's grades no good.

This eyeglass case it not only not attractive, it won't keep your glasses safe. There's a reason eyeglass cases are hard-sided these days.

Knitted cup holders. Hmm, I suppose they'd save paper, but they'd have to be washed fairly often so I don't know how far ahead we'd be environmentally speaking. And I keep thinking how soggy and crusty they would get once you spilled a little of your latté on them. They look good in a "I'm so leisured and monied that I knit little cashmere sweaters for my coffee cups" kind of way — if you don't mind looking like that kind of person. I'm thinking I'm going to come down on the side of "buying a good-looking travel mug and getting it filled at the coffee shop" to save both the paper cup and the knitting.

This is not just a beginner's project, this is the Chopsticks of beginner projects. It looks not bad here, draped artfully over a very attractive model, but it's not going to look as good in other, more ordinary settings. For your very first project, which will be, yes, a garter stitch scarf, choose a beautiful yarn and put a fringe on it. You don't want to make anything that screams "BEGINNER PROJECT" quite this loudly.

Needles vs. Hooks

Crafters may look like a close-knit group, but the reality is that there are armed camps within crafting, that knitting and crocheting especially have a Sharks vs. Jets-style rivalry. Knitters and crocheters brandish their respective tools and claim their craft is easier to learn or more versatile, while those who are bistitchual remain determinedly on the fence. The mockumentary Wooly Bullies, which appears above, explores the animus between the Needles and the Hooks. Part of the problem seems to be that while knitters contend with the "old lady’s pastime" stereotype, crocheters are up against the even more negative "old lady's pastime of making granny square and toilet paper cosies" stigma.

Kim Werker, founder of Crochet Me, expounds on some interesting theories in this 2006 interview in which she's asked about the conflict between knitting and crochet. Crochet is much younger than knitting. Knitting is believed to have been invented circa the eighth century, but crochet doesn't seem to have existed much before 1800. Werker says crocheting first came to North America as an easy and affordable way for poor and working class women to make lace, while knitting was the established craft. Moreover, knitting machines were invented over 200 years ago, but to this day crocheted items can only be produced by hand. Knitting's advantage of mass production may have resulted in knitting becoming a respected and staple means of clothing production, while crocheting repeatedly goes in and out of fashion, with corresponding fluctuations in its popularity. It’s surprising and thought-provoking to speculate that this half-joking, half-real schism between knitters and crocheters may have its roots in classist attitudes from 200 years ago.

My own guess is that the schism between knitters and crocheters has a fairly simple explanation. Which may be that most people who knit and/or crochet love the one craft and don't care much for the other (and it seems that generally they prefer the one they learned first), and it's easy for them to get adamant about it, especially on the internet, where everybody tends to get adamant about everything.

Knitty Deep Fall 2012: A Review

I will always love the online knitting magazine Knitty for what I consider to be their most outstanding design of all time.

Yes, that's a thong knitted out of red licorice, and I hope you aren't reading this at work. The pattern is here, and apparently can be adjusted to fit any consenting adult.

Knitty peaked with that design (where can you go once you've designed a thong knitted of licorice?), but let's have a look at their Deep Fall 2012 issue anyway.

This "Best Friends Forever Cowl" is far from the worst way there is to indicate your BFF status with another person. (That would have to be those idiotic half-a-heart necklaces I saw a few of back in the eighties.) The idea for this cowl is that you each knit two of the same colour, swap one, and then graft them together. As long as you choose colours that really work together you'll still want to wear the resulting cowl after you and your BFF have had a hair-pulling match over something stupid and gone your separate ways.

I like this shawl, or at least I think I do — I wish I could see it better in this picture. I'm not sure such a beautiful and intricate lace design needs to be all those different colours, or at least not those particular colours. That may just be my bias against my least-favourite colour (yellow), and against making extremely time-intensive accessories in colourways that only work with a few of your outfits.

I keep thinking this sweater looks like something I would make for a film student because those bands across the chest look just like strips of film to me. (And yes, a film student probably wouldn't want to wear anything so obvious.) The garish colour combination of this sweater bothers me, and the buttons, but that's purely a matter of personal preference. This sweater would look fine knitted in either a bold colourway or in something more subtle, such as in black and white and a few shades of gray.

Mmmm, fair isle. It's so refined by hundreds of years of time and tradition that you almost can't go wrong with it.

This is perfect. I've bookmarked this one and it will be the next sweater I make for my father.

I can't get on board with cardigans that don't fasten in the front even though they're ubiquitous now. I imagine them constantly hanging unattractively open and getting into things, such as my meals. From the way this model has her arm barred across her midriff, I suspect the front of this sweater doesn't stay becomingly wrapped on its own.

Men's sweater design in general suffers from a lack of imagination. As one of my nephews has complained, "They always have the stripe across the chest." It's not entirely the fault of menswear designers, because they have to stick to what sells and so many men really don't want to wear anything the least bit unusual. So here we have a sweater with stripes across the chest, but they're a different kind of stripe from what you usually see, and it actually looks like something fresh and striking. I like this one and think most of the relatively lean men I know under 45 or so would like it. I am not sure about the hoodie, though. I wish there were a back view of it because in this picture it looks like it was tacked on as an afterthought.

I love the concept of a modern-day knitted middy — I love modern versions of iconic fashions — but I don't like the execution of this one. Making the entire item in garter stitch just makes the sweater look like a beginner knitter's first sweater. Mixing it up with some other stitches and techniques, such as a collar and cuffs of stockinette stitch or a finished crochet edging, might have given this sweater a little more style and polish.

Now this is how you design with colour blocking.

These are cute and very well-designed. For the macabre, death-obsessed freak in your life, and don't we all have at least one?

This particular colour combination wouldn't be for everyone, but these are inventive and a good way to use up small amounts of complementary yarn.

I know in comparison to the slaughter house of misery and human cost and the flagrantly inhumane disregard for their own soldiers on the part of the British Army's administration that was the Crimean War, the Balaclava cap probably looked like a good idea. I'm aware that the soldiers who were expected to endure temperatures well below freezing in cotton summer uniforms without shelter or even a blanket would have received the issue of these caps with cries of "THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, SOMETHING TO KEEP MY FROZEN, BLACKENED EARS FROM FALLING OFF!!!!"

But it's well over a century and a half later and for those of us who have been privileged enough not to experience the discovery of a maggot-infested horse carcass in our only water supply or amputation without anesthesia, the balaclava has never been an attractive option.

Adorable! And the hat is cute too. Let's get a closer look at the baby, shall we? Purely so we can see the detail on the hat.

I like the colour patchwork. It's fun and, upon a quick look at the pattern, would be quite painless to work.

The designer of this hat and fingerless glove pattern writes that she always loved playing with prisms in science class as a child and that she wanted to use this yarn and design to recreate the effect. And I must say she has succeeded. This is a very effective use of this very pretty yarn.

I'm not sure I can be fair to these fingerless gloves. I just want to say they're okay, but would look much nicer as real gloves.

But then I'm unreasonably annoyed by this picture and the text that accompanies it. (A quote: "Twisted Mom Sandy Sitzman sat on the stone steps of an ancient temple ruin in Crete, took a skein of her handspun out of her bag and placed it on the stone to summon her muse, Calertne. Magically the colors in her yarn began to sing to the columns, the stone, the tumbling shapes. The goddess answered and these bodacious fingerless gloves were born.") And I don't know why it was necessary for the model to have an egg sitting in her lap, but perhaps it's an obscure reference to that whole goddess thing.

Since I commented on fingerless gloves in an earlier post it's been pointed out to me that for people such as sailors and construction workers who work outdoors in all weathers, or even people who have to play the piano or type indoors but in a work space that is too chilly for comfort, fingerless gloves are a good solution for keeping the hands warm but dexterous, and to this I readily agree. I do remain unconvinced that there is any possible temperature or work environment that requires fingerless gloves on the hands when the same person's feet are apparently perfectly comfortable in flip-flops.

And I note that my spell check is not recognizing the word "fingerless". Make of that what you will.

What to Knit for Opera Night

When I reviewed some of patterns from Vogue Knitting's Holiday 2012 issue, I talked about the ruffled dress above and wondered where one could wear it. The only result of my brainstorming was that I could wear it when dressing as Klondike Kate for Halloween.

Fortunately Vogue Knitting has come to my rescue.

They've offered up an accessory for us to wear specifically with the dress, and helpfully designated them "Opera Wristers" (the pattern can be downloaded for free from the VK site here), though I'm still not clear on whether it's appropriate to wear such an outfit as a member of the audience or if it's meant to be worn only by those performing in the opera.

There was a memorable Elvis concert at which a man in the front row took off his toupée and showed Elvis his bald head. Elvis, who was in the midst of "Are You Lonesome Tonight?", could hardly sing for laughing but rose to the occasion by ad libbing, "Do you gaze at your bald head and wish you had hair?" If you make yourself this outfit complete with the wristers and wear them to a performance of Rigoletto, you too may make concert history when the soloist changes the lyrics of the "La Donna è Mobile" to "La donna è mobile.... ed è così il suo vestito".

Creative Knitting's Winter 2012: A Review

Let's look at some of the patterns from the Creative Knitting Winter 2012/2013 issue, shall we?

Cowls are one of the few truly innovative and clever trends to appear in the last several years. Not only are they a genuinely fresh sartorial departure (something you don't see a lot of in clothing trends, because really, what else can we do that we haven't already done?), but they make a lot of sense. They stay securely in place, keeping your neck and chest warm. They can't fall off and get lost. They don't dangle behind you and leave you at risk for getting your neck broken when they get caught in something, à la Isadora Duncan. And they can look quite good. My prediction is that the cowl is not in fact a trend but that it is here to stay.

That said, I don't care for this one, which makes this model look like she stuck her head through a pile of rope.

I'm not crazy about this cowl either. It looks too bulky and clunky. But I suppose it, like the last one, could work with the right kind of coat.

I do like this cowl. Good proportions, interesting texture.

These gloves remind me of a joke I heard a comedian make about porch lights: that they look really pretty at night but in the daytime they make your house look like raccoons have been ripping apart the eaves on your house. These gloves will look like they've been gnawed on by rodents regardless of the time of day.

This hat and fingerless gloves set is quite cute.

But while we're on the topic of fingerless gloves, is there some temperature at which it's cold enough that you need to protect your hands but your fingers will stay warm by themselves, and if so, what is it? And what do you do if you're out and about and the temperature suddenly dips below that? Do you keep a pair of actual mittens or gloves in your pocket and just switch? If your fingerless gloves match your hat then do you have another pair of the gloves with fingers that also match it so you can stay colour-coordinated when the temperature drops? Considerations like these are why I will never make a pair of fingerless gloves, at least not for myself. It all sounds too complicated.

Another nice hat and fingerless glove set. The idea of putting a garter stitch band around the crown with a little decoration on it to mimic traditional felt hat trimming is a cute one, but I keep looking at the button on the side of the hat and thinking it looks a little lost, or maybe just a little.... little. I'd have used a larger one to keep it in proportion with the rest of the hat.

Nice hat and scarf set. I keep looking at the beads around the bottom of the hat and thinking how I'd feel each individual bead pressing against my skin and how that would annoy the living shit out of me.

Very nice little pullover, a modern interpretation of a classic. This would flatter most women.

Ah, the basic, cropped, squarish sweater. This is one of those beginner projects that you're so proud of when you first finish it, because you've actually made a sweater!!! And then within a few years, after your skill improves and the halo of accomplishment that surrounds this sweater with a glorifying light dims, you realize how amateurish and unflattering it's always been and you either rip it all out and knit something else with the yarn, or you bury it deep in the thrift shop donation bag.

Creative Knitting suggests that you might use the swatches you have lying around to make cell phone covers. I must admit that's a great idea. If you knit swatches. And if you have a cell phone.

This sweater would make me feel like a Muppet.

This sweater would make feel like a Peanuts character.

This is one of those patterns that do look quite good on a professional model in a magazine (although this particular model appears unconvinced of that), but maybe are a little too costume-y and theatrical for real life. I can't picture any of the women I know wearing this. If I made this, I'd probably end up dialing it back by picking a side and making the other side to match it.

Very pretty sweater. Which I'd make with a fitted sleeve. Wide sleeves really aren't flattering on anyone, and they're a nuisance.

Beautiful, wearable, eye-catching sweater. Though I'm not a fan of asymmetry in clothes, at least not for myself. I honestly admire this sweater, but it makes me feel all twitchy and OCD. I made myself a top with an asymmetrical neckline once and couldn't stop tugging on it to try to "fix" it.

I do love the knitted slipcover look. It lends the classic, understated elegance and comfort of a Irish cabled sweater to your furniture, and what's not to love about that? It's even reasonably practical — they'll knit up quickly because you use a bulky yarn and big needles, they should wear fairly well with reasonable care, and they can easily be taken off the furniture and washed as often as needed.

These Christmas cards are undeniably adorable, but I just keep imagining spending all that time making these little knitted decorations, pasting them on a card, and then sending the card to someone.... who will look at it for thirty seconds and then throw it in the garbage.

I love this idea. Making knitted Christmas stockings would be a great way to use up some scrap yarn. I'm not crazy about these particular Christmas stockings, but then the idea isn't to make ones that look just like these, but to use whatever scraps we happen to have to make stockings that suit our own tastes and décor.

I like this little girl's sweater, though I think the pattern needs a little refining. The bottom of the pocket looks especially crude. I'd maybe outline the pocket with the stripe pattern (perhaps crocheting around it with a line of each colour?) to tie it to the rest of the sweater a little better, or at least begin the bottom of the pocket with the stripe pattern.

Travelling and Ravelling: Tales of Knitting on the TTC

I've been living in Toronto, sans automobile, for over twenty years, and I've spent something in the neighbourhood of 10,000 hours on the TTC. Reading on a moving vehicle makes me motion sick, so I knit (or sometimes sew, crochet, cross-stitch, or embroider, etc.) to while away the time spent commuting. This has led to numerous knitting-related incidents.

— I often drop a ball of yarn. People are wonderfully courteous about picking it up for me and handing it back to me before I can retrieve it myself. On one occasion, two young men gallantly dove after the runaway skein… only to bump their heads together with an audible thump. Everyone on the bus cracked up, but with great effort I managed not to laugh, because it seemed impolitic to say the least.

— Sometimes when I drop a ball of yarn I don't notice it right away, but continue striding through a bus station with a ball of yarn unrolling behind me. Someone either points it out or runs after me with the ball, shouting, “Hey! Hey!!!”

— Once as I stepped off a subway car my knitting fell out of my backpack. A man called my attention to it once I was eight feet away. I turned to see the knitting lying on the platform and the ball of yarn lying just inside the subway car door... just as the doors closed on the strand of yarn. I had a panicked vision of my half-finished old-rose-coloured mohair afghan being dragged up and down the Yonge/University line for the rest of the day. All I could do was shriek, "NO! NOOOOOOOOO!" The train took off. The man had the goodness and the presence of mind to pick up the knitting, and the strand of yarn snapped as the train left the station. So my work was saved, but I lost most of a skein of yarn. I went to the lost and found twice in the following week, and it was never turned in. I'm now on the lookout for some mofo in a old-rose-coloured beret.

— I didn't start knitting on the bus immediately after I moved to Toronto at 19, because I was much less confident then. I must have been 23 or so before I finally just started doing it. It took me about a week to get used to being stared at. Everyone stares. I suppose it's natural that motion should attract the eye, and for a regular commuter it's probably the most interesting thing to look at. He or she has seen the scenery a thousand times before, and of course on the subway there's no scenery at all.

— Lots of people strike up conversations with me about knitting. What am I making? How long did it take me to learn to knit? They tell me that they've always wanted to learn to knit themselves, or about their own knitting, or how they used to knit, or how someone they know knits. Once years ago an elderly man said it was so nice to see a young girl knitting and fondly reminisced about how his mother knitted. Sometimes people take a more technical interest and ask me how or why I do this or that. One middle-aged man pointed out that I had bad form — his grandmother had taught him to knit once when he was a little boy, though he hadn't kept up with it. Often people near me start talking to each other about knitting.

— I can always tell when a current project is turning out especially well, because I get lots of compliments on it. It's especially cheering to have these compliments come from the target audience, as it were. At one point I was working on a sweater of my own design for a male friend, and worried it wasn't masculine-looking enough. Then one day a group of huge-panted homeboys told me that it was "real nice", so I figured it couldn't be too girly.

— Whenever I sit next to or across from another knitter, we exchange looks and small, fleeting, complicit smiles. And then we knit on in silence, like compatriots of such longstanding that there is no need for words.

— One day, I happened to be sitting next to a young guy, and his girlfriend was sitting on his other side. They had a make out session, and then suddenly the guy (who had a shaved head and was much-pierced and dressed in black leather) turned to me and very politely and deferentially asked me in the sweetest, softest voice how he could learn to knit, saying he'd always wanted to learn. I made some suggestions about knitting cafés and classes. He turned back to kissing his girlfriend for a bit, then turned to me again and asked how long it would take him to learn to knit, how soon he could expect to be able to make a sweater, etc. I answered these questions, and he turned back to his girlfriend and they made out some more. Then he turned back to me and asked me some questions about what he should do for a first project, and what kind of yarns and needles he should buy for it. I recommended a scarf, worsted yarn, and size 5mm needles, and he turned back to his girlfriend for more smooching. The alternate knitting consultations and make-out sessions continued until they left the train.

— One evening a chef from a downtown restaurant pressed a restaurant matchbook with his name scribbled on it into my hand and asked me to call him, telling me that despite "everyone thinking he was a big macho chef", he really would like to learn how to knit and wanted me to teach him. I was afraid his request was a euphemism for something else and I didn't call him.

— Kids are always the cutest starers and conversationalists. Back in the days when I patronised a laundromat, small children would routinely collect around me to watch me knit and ask questions. One day a little girl who sat next to me on the subway asked me what I was knitting. When I said, "It's a sweater for my niece," her eyes got big and round and she said, with awe, "Are you an auntie?" as though I were some rare and priceless creature. Plainly this was a child who had aunts who adored and doted on her.

— Another little girl asked me what I was knitting. When I said, "A sweater," she said, "Is it a surprise for me?"

— One little girl on a bus I used to take to work used to stare fixedly at me the entire duration of our ride together. I swear, she wouldn't even blink. And she always sat as close to me as she could. If she could sit next to me she’d beam with satisfaction as she climbed into the seat. One day as she did so, her mother, who had sat down across the aisle, said, "Come sit over here by me." The little girl protested, "But I want to sit next to the Knitting Lady!" and the mother good-naturedly said, "Oh, all right," and moved across the aisle herself to sit on the little girl's other side.

— People often refer to me as the Knitting Lady. I'd be sitting in a bus shelter knitting away and one of the people waiting outside would stick her head in and call, "Yoo hoo, Knitting Lady, the bus is coming." One day as I walked along the sidewalk a man I didn't at all recognize passed me, then turned and said, "Hey, you’re the Knitting Lady!" A former co-worker of mine who took the same bus as me told me that after I changed jobs several people on the bus said to him, "Why isn't the Knitting Lady on this bus anymore?"


Don't worry, buddy. I'm sure to be somewhere out there on another bus or train, knitting.

A Fowl Knitting Project

The American Thanksgiving weekend is approaching. You might want, as 213 people on Ravelry have, to knit your baby a turkey hat, downloading the pattern from this page.

Then again, if you're Canadian you're probably glad to have Thanksgiving well behind you so you can focus on something less psychologically damaging to your child else.