Red! What?! And Blue! and Other Knitting Fables

Kalinda thought her homage to split pea soup had turned out rather well.

Whitney's best hope was that someone would steal the purse her Aunt Stella had made for her, but so far no one was taking the bait.

Rolph didn't think his person's scheme for meeting chicks was going to go over so well, but hey, as far as he was concerned, the one upside of being neutered was not having to worry about crap like that.

"Can you move a little further to your left, sweet lumps? That's right... just a little further. Thanks. The photographer needs to be able to take a clear shot of me. It's not every day he comes across a fellow with my ability to accessorize, you know. By the way, is your headscarf 100% silk, like my cravat? Yes, I buy quality. The ladies like it. They like untying it and taking it off me, and then later they really like it when I tie their hands to my bedpost with it... hey... wait... where are you going?"

Golda and Saffron had not only found a purpose in life when they'd individually changed their names and joined the Yellow Lovers Society, but had also found the love of their lives in each other. The flattering reflected light they got from each other's outfits was the icing on the cake.

In time Golda and Saffron had a daughter, Amber, who was granted a legacy membership in the Yellow Lovers Society. The little girl complained that her yellow acrylic bodysuit was too hot, but Golda cleverly solved that problem by adding rubber boots to Amber's outfit to collect all the perspiration. She couldn't have Amber ruining all that wonderful yellow shag carpeting at society meetings and functions.

Felicia was very proud of herself for figuring out a way to avoid having to rip out her student design project to pick up some dropped stitches, and couldn't understand why her instructor had insisted that her design be named "Red! What?! And Blue!" for the student runway show at the end of the year.

Leila had a special sweater that she liked to wear clubbing on nights when it was near the end of the month and she didn't have much money to spend. She thought it was a great way to subtly put across the message that she was open to having men buy her drinks.

Dahlia thought her new stole was the perfect thing to wear to the Hunt Club's spring garden party. It was in spring-like colours, it had a certain drama and insouciance, and everyone would be too busy staring at it to ask any awkward questions about her sixth husband's disappearance.

Sue and Cullen felt sure their new cardigans would put a lock on their winning the "Best Dressed" award at this year's annual Moped Club banquet.

Get Shorty

Michael Sellick of The Crochet Crowd demonstrates how you can shorten long plastic knitting needles to whatever length you wish.

The Sweater Curse: Superstition or Reality?

Rocketboom's Mememolly (AKA Molly Templeton) discusses the possible root causes of the phenomenon known as "the sweater curse".

Elliot Lake's Knitting Lady

On June 23, 2012, the Algo Centre Mall in Elliott Lake Ontario, which had been plagued by structural problems throughout its history, suffered a partial structural failure on June 23, 2012. A 12m x 24m rooftop parking lot collapsed into the mall, crashing through an upper level lottery kiosk and the mall's escalators. More than 20 people were injured and two people were killed. The mall, which employed more than 250 local residents and represented 10% of Elliot Lake's retail space and 6% of its total area wages, had to be demolished.

The investigation of the mall collapse and class action lawsuits are ongoing, and the hearings have all been faithfully attended by one particular spectator, Heather Moyer, whom everyone involved with or following the case has come to know as the Knitting Lady. But as Global News learned when they interviewed her, Heather Moyer's not just in the courtroom to knit.

The Knitted Jewelry of Niiro

As some of you might have gathered from my knitting magazine reviews, I'm not often kind to designs involving knitted jewelry made out of yarn. It tends to look like something made during arts and crafts hour at summer camp, which is to say it's cute on children but is generally too naive a look for adults. However, knitted jewelry made from metal wire can be a brave new world for a knitter, and one designer who has tapped into knitted wire's potential is Rosanna Raljević Ceglar, also known as Niiro.

Niiro is a jewelry designer located in Slovenia. A graduate from the Academy of Fine Arts in Venice, she finds inspiration in the forms and textures found in nature, and her work does have an organic quality to it, as though the pieces were rare species of sea creatures cast in metal.

To view more of Niiro's work, you can visit her website or check out her Facebook page.

A Socking Knitting Machine

To non-knitters, knitters may look like a monolithic group, but there are actually factions and camps within knitting because there are so many different types of knitting. One small but avid subset you'll find among knitters is antique sock machine enthusiasts. It's still possible (if challenging) to find, buy, and operate an antique sock knitting machine. In the video above, Shelly Hatton demonstrates how she uses her antique circular sock knitting machines at Maker Faire in Austin, Texas.

In a second video, Kenya Habegger, a sock machine enthusiast from Berne, Indiana shows us how her sock knitting machine works and also tells us something of the history of sock machines. During World War I, sock knitting machines were sold for about $11 and their operators were paid $0.05 for a pair. Habegger can make a pair of socks in 45 minutes. You can work out for yourself how much a machine operator would be likely to make in a day and how long it would take that machine to pay for itself.

For more information about sock knitting machine, check out this online sock knitting machine museum, or visit Angora Valley. And if you're very interested in sock machine knitting and would like to connect with other like-minded knitters, check out the New Sock Machine Society of America (which is an international organization despite its name), which has its own website and a Ravelry group.

Knitting Something Nice for You

Here's a song called "Knitting Something Nice for You", from the 2010 album Versicolour by British Columbia experimental folk singer Aidan Knight.