Sunday, 13 October 2013

Red! What?! And Blue! and Other Knitting Fables

Kalinda thought her homage to split pea soup had turned out rather well.

Whitney's best hope was that someone would steal the purse her Aunt Stella had made for her, but so far no one was taking the bait.

Rolph didn't think his person's scheme for meeting chicks was going to go over so well, but hey, as far as he was concerned, the one upside of being neutered was not having to worry about crap like that.

"Can you move a little further to your left, sweet lumps? That's right... just a little further. Thanks. The photographer needs to be able to take a clear shot of me. It's not every day he comes across a fellow with my ability to accessorize, you know. By the way, is your headscarf 100% silk, like my cravat? Yes, I buy quality. The ladies like it. They like untying it and taking it off me, and then later they really like it when I tie their hands to my bedpost with it... hey... wait... where are you going?"

Golda and Saffron had not only found a purpose in life when they'd individually changed their names and joined the Yellow Lovers Society, but had also found the love of their lives in each other. The flattering reflected light they got from each other's outfits was the icing on the cake.

In time Golda and Saffron had a daughter, Amber, who was granted a legacy membership in the Yellow Lovers Society. The little girl complained that her yellow acrylic bodysuit was too hot, but Golda cleverly solved that problem by adding rubber boots to Amber's outfit to collect all the perspiration. She couldn't have Amber ruining all that wonderful yellow shag carpeting at society meetings and functions.

Felicia was very proud of herself for figuring out a way to avoid having to rip out her student design project to pick up some dropped stitches, and couldn't understand why her instructor had insisted that her design be named "Red! What?! And Blue!" for the student runway show at the end of the year.

Leila had a special sweater that she liked to wear clubbing on nights when it was near the end of the month and she didn't have much money to spend. She thought it was a great way to subtly put across the message that she was open to having men buy her drinks.

Dahlia thought her new stole was the perfect thing to wear to the Hunt Club's spring garden party. It was in spring-like colours, it had a certain drama and insouciance, and everyone would be too busy staring at it to ask any awkward questions about her sixth husband's disappearance.

Sue and Cullen felt sure their new cardigans would put a lock on their winning the "Best Dressed" award at this year's annual Moped Club banquet.

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