I Want to Knit Aliens

To mark the end of the watchable, if lacklustre, 2016 mini-season of The X-Files, I've decided to do a post of selected alien-themed knits. Much was left hanging in the air at the finale's end, narratively and literally speaking, and those involved in The X-Files have said they are willing to do more episodes as their schedules permit, so there may be more to come. While we await further episodes (which I hope that Chris Carter will not be writing, because he's a hack, there I said it), we can always knit ourselves some cute and cuddly aliens.

The photo above is of the Alien Autopsy pattern, designed by Emily Stoneking and available for $4.50(USD). You can use it to help yourself imagine that you are Scully, happily slicing and dicing. Don't forget to order a pizza mid-autopsy, as Scully would.

If you want a alien-themed toy for the little alien-obsessed Fox Mulder in your life and the autopsy pattern doesn't seem quite suitable for a child, this toy spaceship might be more to your liking. This design is the Orbiting Oddity, by Anna Hrachovec. This pattern appeared in Knitting Mochimochi: 20 Super-Cute Strange Designs for Knitted Amigurumi.

This is the Emerson the Incognito Alien, designed by Jenna Krupar, and it would seem that Emerson has decided to try to pass as a French existentialist. This pattern is available for $6.00(USD).

This is the Alien Illusion Scarf, designed by Shetha Nolke. Can't you just see a teenaged Mulder wearing this scarf to high school and using its illusionary qualities as the basis for a monotone monologue on the existence of extra terrestrial life? This pattern appears in Stitch 'n Bitch: The Knitter's Handbook.

Here's another alien-themed scarf, and in this one the very cute alien and spaceship motifs are plain to be seen. The Anybody Out There? pattern, designed by the Galagonya Gulova workshop, is available for free.

This Aliens and Spaceship design, by Jean Woods, is so adorable that it could probably colonize the planet without anyone objecting. This pattern is available for $3.00(USD).

Speaking of adorable beings whom we're glad to have rule us, how cute this is this little guy's vest? This is the Baby Alien vest, by Barbara Gregory, and the pattern is available for $6(USD).

I find this one way cuter and funnier than the standard animal ears toddler hat. This is the Take Me To Your Leader Toddler Hat, by Sharon Mooney, and this pattern is available for $5.50(USD).

This is one far out baby blanket. The Outer Space Blanket pattern, by ShoedivaOriginals, is available for $10(USD).

These toy aliens are equal parts creepy and cute! The Aliens from the Planet Flangelzwat pattern, by Liz Wray, is available for £2.50(GBP).

The Sleep With an Alien Pillow pattern, by Christine Grant, is available for $3.25(USD). I'm thinking that if this is given to a kid, the pillow will be just as likely to be lobbed at a sibling or used for impromptu bowling games as slept with, but hey, why not.

The Cyclops Pocket Alien, by Dawn Finney, can be used not only for bowling or hurling at a sibling but also may be employed as a handy holder for such odds and ends as the remote or keys. Now that's a useful item. The pattern is available for $4(USD).

And here's a very cute little Aliens in Space sweater, designed by Sylvia Leake. This pattern is available for $5.49(USD).

Interweave Knits Spring 2016: A Review

The Spring 2016 issue of Interweave Knits is out! Let's have a look at it, shall we?

Nash Island Shawl. A lovely piece of work.

Krokos Shawl. Another nice shawl, this time with a geometric eyelet pattern.

Catskill Pullover. Very much like this one, with its smart herringbone texture and good lines. I might raise that slightly dropped shoulder just a titch.

Hampshire Shawl. A nice-looking piece. Though I will have you know that this is not what farmgirls wear when they slop the hogs.

Blue Ridge Sweater. I like this one. There's something quite pleasing about how the lace and bobble pattern is shaped into a simple ballet neckline.

Yorkshire Capelet. Not a bad piece, though it doesn't seem to belong on this particular outfit.

Phi Cowl. The other day on Twitter, a knitwear designing friend's husband scoffed that this thing is a bib and that no one would wear it, and I have to agree.

Slippery Slope Socks. The sherbet colours are pretty and the design is cool.

Spectrum Pincushion. This is a cute idea, would use up some scraps, and as a bonus, might also help its user to remember which colour schemes are analogous and which are complementary.

Spectrum Pouf. This might be a fun piece for a kid's room.

Dorchester Pullover. Very pretty -- I love the scallop stitch front panel -- but I think I would either shorten or lengthen those sleeves. That's an awkward length.

Promenade Coaster & Trivet Set. This look a little too craftsy-kitschy and grandmotherly for my tastes, but I suppose a lot would depend on how one styled one's table. A bowl of waxed fruit and an oilcloth would take these coasters in one direction, and a funky tea set and a distressed wooden table in another.

Caldecott Jacket. This is a lovely, polished piece with one distracting flaw: the front closure sits so poorly. I'd fiddle with it and perhaps add an inner fastening to make the underlying front edge sit properly and to take the stress off the outer buttons.

Orangery Shawl. This could have looked Christmas tree skirty, but it's so carefully shaped and the colourway is so well chosen that it ends up looking like quite a visually interesting and polished-looking shawl.

Hobnail Coasters. This coaster is such an inventive and skilled piece of design that it is in much less in risk of looking kitschy as the previous coasters did.

Park Lane Coaster & Trivet Set. I'm afraid we're back in waxed fruit and oilcloth territory again.

Deanery Street Centerpiece. This one is a bib for your cake plate. I don't see why a cake plate needs a bib anymore than a grown woman does.

High Tea Doily. This is a lovely piece of work, though I don't know who uses doilies for anything these days.

Pom Pom Quarterly Issue 16: A Review

Pom Pom Quarterly has released its Spring 2016 issue. Let's have a look at it.

Striated. At first glance, I thought this cowl was shaker knit. It's actually a shaker knit-like lace stitch. It's quite a handsome, useful piece.

Unfold. I like the mitered texture of this piece, but I see from the extra photos on this pattern's Ravelry page that it doesn't sit all that attractively when the model isn't pulling on it.

Riveret. This isn't a bad-looking piece, but the cropped, squarish shape of it will make it unflattering on many women. It isn't doing anything even for this professional model.

Right Angle. Great texture, but I am not thrilled with the dropped shoulders or the boxy fit.

Rhombille. Love this one! It has an unusual construction and great stitchwork.

Perpendicular. Simple shawl with just the right amount of interesting detailing.

Imitation. These are... okay. They look a little too much like the tacky mesh half-gloves that were trendy in the eighties for my tastes. I think I'd like them better in a colour.

Delineate. I quite like this one, which is sexy without being too over-the-top about it. Nice shaping and the back has some great stitchwork.

Equilibrium. Not liking this one much. It looks as though the designer put some effort into its construction and detailing as it has a saddle shoulder, decorative eyelets, and side vents, but the end result is ill-fitting and askew.

Rocket: A Video

In Rocket, a stop animation video short made by ChunkiChilli, a rabbit astronaut takes a leap for bunnykind by voyaging into space.

The X-Files Knitting is Out There

I'm an X-Phile. I have the whole nine seasons of The X-Files plus the two movies on DVD, and I've seen them all at least twice each. When I read of the new mini-season that premiered last night, I thought I'd faint for joy. This joy was only somewhat dampened by my viewing of the first episode, which proved to be plagued by some of the worst features of the franchise (i.e., a convoluted alien plot that doesn't make much sense, bloviated monologues from Mulder, contrived conflict between Scully and Mulder), with a gratuitous reanimation of the Cigarette Smoking Man who was last seen burned down to his skull in the series finale. Critics who have previewed the series are assuring their readers that the series does get better, but sadly, such is my love for The X-Files that I'll keep watching regardless of how bad it might be -- a state of affairs that the show producers are probably banking on. Meanwhile, I'd like to pay tribute to my love for the good qualities of the show by doing a special post on some X-Files-themed knitting inspiration. I didn't turn up any actual knitting patterns in my search, probably because such patterns are destroyed by a shadow government conspiracy problematic due to copyright issues, but like Mulder, I kept searching, convinced that the truth X-Files knitting patterns were out there, and unlike him, I actually came up with some tangible results.

The amigurumi above are crocheted by the blogger at Moñacos, cosicas y meriendacenas, but I couldn't resist including them anyway as they are quite well done on the whole. Recreating Mulder's nose appeared to be a challenge, but then it would be.

Honourable mention also goes to the X-Files knitting game devised by Ravelry user Lindsey Knit, as described on her project page for her X-Files Cowl. As Lindsey watched the series and knitted, she put an eyelet in her cowl every time she heard or saw one of the following:

- Dated technology (giant cellphones, big computers, beepers, etc.)
- "I Want to Believe" poster
- A dead body
- Someone draws a gun
- Skinner reprimanding Mulder
- Scully says "Mulder, are you suggesting _________?"
- An autopsy
- An actual alien on screen
- Sunflower seeds
- Reference to Mulder's addiction to pornography
- Quirky Mulder/Scully banter
- "X" in the window
- The Cigarette Smoking Man
- Mulder or Scully tamper with a crime scene or evidence
- Mulder jumps to insane conclusions
- Scully refuses to believe something she just witnessed
- Scully narrowly misses seeing something extraterrestrial

I like the idea of a knitting game as opposed to a drinking game because taking even a modest sip of an alcoholic beverage on those terms could have one in a coma before too long.





These X-Files themed mittens, designed and knitted by Etsy vendor Bad at Math Knits, are terrific, although there are no patterns available.

There's also this Scully and UFO pattern, created by the blogger from Lattes and Llamas, who has generously made the chart available as a free PDF. I love that Scully has her back turned on the UFO and that her body posture says she isn't buying this crap because science.

Pinterest member Archaeopterknits posted this photo of a "knitting idea that didn't work out" to her Knitted board. Even though it wasn't finished, I thought the knitted replica of Mulder's iconic poster was quite well done and might give other X-Files fans an idea of how to knit their own similar tribute projects.

Bergère de France Magazine 181: A Review, part 2

Today we're going to look at the second half of the patterns in Bergère de France Magazine 181, the first half of the review having been posted two days ago. Hold on to your needles, knitters. The first half of this magazine was a bumpy ride and the second half isn't much of an improvement.

Pattern #25, Crochet Beanie. This, I am relieved to say, is a quite presentable and even cute hat.

Pattern #26, Cable Beanie. This hat isn't too bad, but those running stitches in ribbing need to go. I'd have put in some sort of stripe instead.

Pattern #27, Crochet Snood. Nice piece, if it is perhaps slightly too large scale for some women. However, that's easily corrected.

Pattern #28, Fluffy Snood. This would prove a cheering pop of colour as well as a warm, practical accessory on a bleak, cold day.





Patterns #29, Snood; 30, Fluffy Snood; 31, Large Snood, 32, Large Snood. And here we have a snaggle of snoods. These are very basic, but should be quite useful and even attractive if done in a good quality yarn in a beautiful colour.





Patterns #33, Bag with a Man's Face; and 34, Bag with a Woman's Face. These look like they were designed by an eight-year-old. To what adult mind do these look like good representations of male and female human faces? They look more like doodles of cats done up in stupid accessories, and the stitching around the faux leather top and bottom looks crude and unattractive in both samples. I think the faux leather bag kit that Bergère de France is trying to sell looks like a pretty decent product, but Bergère de France isn't doing themselves any favours by sabotaging their product's potential in this way.




;;;.
Patterns #35, Italy Slipper Socks; 36, Germany Slipper Socks; 37, Spain Slipper Socks; and 38, France Slipper Socks. I'm not liking these. They look crudely put together, and the flag theme isn't a particularly happy choice.

Pattern #39, Throw. This isn't terrible, but it isn't great either. Design really ought to involve some effort on the part of the designer.

Patterns #40, Super-Sized Cushion; and 41, Knitted iPad Mini Case. I'm really not getting why the Bergère de France staff think crude-looking embroidery constitutes an embellishment.

Pattern #42, Flag Hanging Pockets. This is tacky, and I'm not getting the thinking behind teaming up flags from the U.S., Laos, the U.K., and Iceland. Maybe it's meant to subtly express French scorn of their national cuisines....?

Pattern #43, Hello Hanging Pockets. I could see this hanging pocket idea working in a child's bedroom, a play room, a craft room, or a mud room, but even then I would want a better designed, more attractive version than this one.

Pattern #44, Oversized Pouffe. A dead simple garter stitch floor pillow isn't a bad idea, but I shouldn't think anyone would need a pattern for one.

Pattern #45, Shoulder Cape. Very presentable basic capelet. The only criticism I have of it is that it doesn't entirely hide the horror that lies beneath it, and that is probably not a fair expectation.

Pattern #46, Round Neck Sweater. Seriously, Bergère de France? Your staffers were presented with a slightly too plain colour-blocked sweater that needed a little something more on it, and their response was... to sketch a bizarre pursed lip expression on it? The mind. It is so blown. But then maybe that was the point.