Polar Vortex Chic and Other Knitting Fables

York was pretty sure that his latest birthday present was some kind of comment on how he'd refused to stop at a store so his girlfriend could buy a new tape measure the time they were on a road trip and she'd lost the one she had, and when she complained about it, scoffed that she didn't need one anyway.

Althea had thought she was tapped out design-wise until one day she realized how much inspiration lay in common kitchen supplies. From making tinfoil masques to recreating banana bunch shapes to knitting with the roll of twine in the utility drawer, the possibilities were endless!

Althea planned to do an entire line of sweaters that could do double duty as pot scrubbers.

Althea also found inspiration in the mat and toilet seat cover in the bathroom.

And then, Althea thought, when she'd exhausted both kitchen and bathroom as a design source, she'd move on to the garbage bins on the porch and knit with found objects. She was so thrilled with this new direction in her work she thought she might just donate all her yarn stash to other, less gifted knitwear designers than herself.

After a January 2014 visit to Montana, Marcella had decided to design a whole line of outfits that had the look people got when it was so brutally cold outside that people stopped giving a shit about what they looked like. She called it "Polar Vortex chic" and was confident it could be the next big thing in winter outerwear fashions.

Marcel was sure his sweater made from Jane Fonda's upcycled eighties-era workout wear was innovative and daring enough to win the "Upcycled Fashion" aware at his design academy, but for extra insurance he crated a modern halo that he thought captured the spirit of aerobic exercise.

Carey had always been a big Tetris fan.

Lorna had heard every designer should have a recognizable trademark, and had decided hers would be the fringe.

Lorna was toying with the idea of calling her design company "Fringe Theory" and of making garments that consisted entirely of fringe. It was, she thought, a design element with a lot of scope.

27.5 Billable Psychotherapy Hours and Other Knitting Fables

"After we finish this shoot, we're going to go do a Donna Summers video. We're so excited about getting that gig because we even have a line in it. It's 'Hey Mister!'"

Sometimes Vern liked to play the "one of these things does not belong" game with his clothes and assorted props.

Jim and Clare had always felt they could carry off any juvenile picture knit they liked as long as they looked disturbingly and preternaturally happy while they did so.

Fifteen years later, Brucie would spend a total of 27.5 billable psychotherapy hours working through the issues that one Picture Day had created.

Maebelle was just so thrilled that she'd managed to figure out a way to make her knitting projects do some of her housework for her.

"You know what they say about having to kiss a lot of frogs before one turns into a prince? Well, I am making a hip and ironic reference to that bit of dating wisdom because as you can see from my man chain and tufts of chest hair, I am a prince already! Come on, ladies, who's going to be first in line? No shoving!"

"I got so tired of men staring at my breasts all day so I designed an outfit to take the emphasis off them and make them look me in the eye. No, the eyes up here in my face — what other eye could you mean?"

Oriole dealt with the tension of being a woman who had to choose between two lovers by designing a sweater. Her friend Anna, who was a psychology major, commented that the sweater seemed a little Freudian, but Oriole ignored her and went shopping for a cute hat to go with the sweater. Anna saw penises and pubic hair in everything.

Sport a big keyboard, you're the piano man
Wear the keyboard in red tonight
Yes we're all in the mood for a matching scarf
And you've got the fringes alright

Malcolm and Mallory were totally thrilled with the hat and tie sets they'd made while on their first magic mushroom trip, though as their friends warned them, the 'shrooms hadn't totally worn off yet.

Knitwear on Ice and Other Knitting Fables

Chelsea and Evie were making knitted chains and lounging about on vintage cars before it was cool.

Audrey's scarf also made the perfect portable pouf.

Donalda took her role as "Fair Isle Girl" in Knitwear on Ice with the utmost seriousness.

Ettie's favourite childhood book had always been Alice in Wonderland and she liked to pay sartorial tribute to it, although she had never thought the Mad Hatter was quite mad enough.

Raven always pulled out all the stops whenever she did anything, whether the task at hand was learning to do ruching in knitting or applying eye makeup.

Cloris considered her latest design to be the perfect meta cocktail dress.

Trista had always envied her Cabbage Patch Kid doll its yarn hair as a child. As an adult, after realizing her childhood dream of growing yarn hair would never come true, she had settled for finding a way to give her hair the ravelled texture that went so well with her hand-knitted sweaters.

Nia wished it were possible to stop seeing the screaming faces in her new wool skirt now that her best friend had pointed them out.

Jessica was aiming for total immersion in a life of wool: changing her name to Carden, keeping her own sheep, carding and spinning her own wool, and weaving, knitting, or crocheting everything she wore. People kept telling her it wasn't really necessary for her also to go to the farmer's market barefoot, but she thought it worked with the rest of her look.

Laura was so delighted she'd finally found a good use for all those crocheted trivets her grandma kept making for her.

Spiked Egg Nog and Christmas Sweaters Don't Mix and Other Knitting Fables

Phil and Hil firmly believed that the family that sweats together stays together. Or at least saves enough money on yarn to partially pay for the counselling that their children Will and Lil would need further down the road.

Peter was thrilled to have found the perfect sweater to wear for his favourite Christmas tradition: his annual viewing of Aristocats with his three wittle fur babies.

Annabelle had finally figured out the perfect way to get the attention of that hot new company sales rep at the office Christmas party.

Unbeknownst to Annabelle, Chuck from the mailroom had similarly been planning to get her attention.

Candy had finished knitting matching Christmas sweaters for herself and Lolly just in the nick of time for the holiday season. Now, she thought, it was time to begin on their Valentine's Day and St. Patrick Day outfits.

The perfect sweater for the leg lamp owner whose partner accidentally broke it. Though this sweater might up getting accidentally shrunk in the wash.

The perfect sweater to gift along with that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Alien DVD box set.

Tim saw a Christmas sweater as only the beginning of his look and pulled out all the stops of his God-given ability to accessorize.

Sometimes when Christmas sweaters combine with too much spiked eggnog, it's all too much of a good thing.

"Merry Freaking Christmas to you too, pal."

The Hairball Doublet and Other Knitting Fables

Lara thought her new winter dress was the perfect tribute to her recreational drug of choice. And all her design classmates and instructors could only be thankful that she was into magic mushrooms rather than crack.

Teddie was really glad she'd found a way to put the doilies her grandmother had made for her to good use, and scorned her mother's advice about making more to lengthen the dress a little. How could she possibly degrade the authenticity of her Grandma's work by adding doilies made by someone else now that Grandma would never make another doily? Really, it was most insensitive of her mother.

Opal was on a one-woman mission to show everyone that afghans were made for better things than to be left on the couch all the time.

Archer wasn't sure he agreed with his fiancé that med school was a place where he'd be expected to demonstrate his dedication and ambition through his clothes.

Kelly couldn't quite understand why none of her clothing design teachers liked her bedskirt and sheers outfit. Had they never heard of her design muse, Scarlett O'Hara?

It had taken design school to show Carolyn that her destiny as a designer was to do for the knife pleat what Kaffe Fassett had done for colour in knitwear.

Maud felt that with entrelac you had to go big or go home. She was pretty mad when her design teachers forced her to compromise the principle by only letting her put the sweater she'd made in the fall fashion show when it really needed the matching pants to work.

Despite all his design instructors said, Lucas was convinced that any silhouette could be made to work with the addition of a belt.

Shi-woo's grad project was a loving ode to his much loved and missed cat. He felt pairing the Hairball Doublet with sleek tights created a look that encompassed both the grace and animal nature of his dearly departed Kkulbbangi.

Moira was very disgruntled when no one at school got that what they called a "kicky spring look" was supposed to be political commentary on the dangers of the economic bubble and importance of the gold standard. Maybe she should have gone into political science after all.