Yarn, Go Sit In the Corner and Think About What You Are!

Franklin Habit, the blogger responsible for The Panopticon and for the 2009 Guys With Yarn calendar, has created a Tumblr for yarnshaming. You know what yarn he'll shame: that yarn that looked nice in the store, but that let you down by immediately pilling horribly, or shrinking, or making you break out in a rash, or collecting every human and pet hair within a block, or being full of splices, or turning out to be a bad dye lot, or having hand-dyed colours that looked so beautiful in the skein but knitted up like some horrible seventies afghan, or that you never bought at all but have because someone gave it to you and the person keeps asking what you're going to do with it.

I remember two yarns in particular I'd like to shame. There was a pale ice green chenille yarn that looked luscious and soft on the ball but that turned out to be basically thread covered in fuzz. I could easily break it with just my hands. I couldn't do any ravelling out of stitches at all without it showing (the fuzz would get wadded up leaving bare segments of thread), and since it broke so easily the things I made with it were soon full of runs. The store where I bought it only stocked it for a short time since no one who tried it would work with it twice. As one of the sales women told me coyly, "The customers who bought it come back in to the store using certain words to describe it." I can't remember the brand name but it doesn't matter as I don't think it's even in production any more.

The other yarn I hated working with was Mary Maxim's Mellowspun. I bought some several years ago to make a sweater for a friend's little boy. I’d never used it before, and was initially impressed with the beautiful shades it came in and how lovely it felt to work with. And it's bargain priced. But damn, did it ever collect HAIR. My hair, my cat Trlby’s hair, my neighbour’s dog hair from three doors down the street. I'd never seen anything like it. I was constantly ripping hairs out of it as I worked on it. I washed it when I was done and still had to pick out more hair after it came out of the dryer. Never again. And I think I'm going to go through my stash soon and weed out any yarn that I really don't like. Life is too short and knitting time too limited to waste on bad yarn.

If you've got any bad yarn stories, feel free to share them in the comments!

Reviewing Reviews for Body Policing

The regular post for today, a review of knit.wear's Spring 2013 issue, led to my having a very enlightening Twitter conversation with one of this blog's readers. Her Twitter handle is Bunny Knuckles, so I'll call her that. Bunny Knuckles told me she enjoyed my blog but what she called "the CONSTANT body policing" in my pattern reviews had made her decide she needed to stop following it.

Well, I was taken aback, and I tweeted back that I was surprised that she considered me to be body policing, that I expected knitting designs to flatter the figures they go on regardless of what those figures are like. Or words to that effect that fit into the 140 character limit. (I hate Twitter. It's not only the ugliest social media venue on the net — it's like reading code — it's next to impossible to have a coherent and intelligent conversation on it.)

But then I had another look at the review, and found to my horror that Bunny Knuckles had been right. I had essentially told my readers that one particular design, a snug, short, knitted dress, was only for young, svelte women. And I found some other comments that I thought were definitely over the line. So I got back to Bunny Knuckles, saying I thought she had a point and that I had done a hasty edit of some of my comments.

Let me be clear here. When I write knitting magazine reviews, I feel it's part of my job description as a reviewer to help knitters assess whether the patterns will flatter their particular looks. I also write from the standpoint that, regardless of what your proportions are, you deserve a wardrobe that make you look your very best. And if this is true of clothes you buy at the mall with your hard-earned dollars, it's all the more true of clothes you're going to spend not only money but a considerable amount of your valuable time and effort making.

But, you see, my task is a problematic one. The fact is, no one looks good in every style, no matter what his or her figure is like. If I'm to provide honest and helpful guidance on choosing flattering styles, sometimes I do need to say categorically that style X will not suit figure Y. It can be difficult to say that without sounding like I'm shaming people for having figure Y, even though I didn't mean that at all and instead intended to suggest that figure Ys thumb their noses at the unflattering style X and go look for a good design in style Z, which will look fabulous on them.

As much as I want to give knitters useful advice about what will look good on them, to help them choose styles that work best on their figures without making them feel that their figures are the problem, it's a fine line, and it upsets me to think that despite my best efforts it's one I'm probably going to cross occasionally. In the case of that snug, short dress design, for instance, what I should have said originally, and what I have edited my comments to say, is that if the wearer-to-be won't feel comfortable in something so snug and short, to just make the dress a few inches longer and a few inches looser. There are specific styles that simply won't ever work on specific figures (don't even get me started on how an empire cut looks over my D cups), but there are also going to be many more cases in which a design only needs a little tweaking to be perfectly wearable for most people. I need to do a better job at distinguishing between the two. I need to be clearer that I'm critiquing the knitting patterns, not people's bodies. I'm also trying to use more gender inclusive language, but that's another conversation to be had on a day when I don't already have a headache.

So I propose that my contract with my readers will be this: that I will be more vigilant about not crossing the line into body policing, and you are welcome to let me know, via comments on this blog, email, messages or wall posts on The Knitting Needle and the Damage Done's Facebook page, or in a Twitter conversation, when you think I haven't succeeded. I'll do my best to respond promptly and will edit my blog posts if I think you're right.

And then we can get back to ridiculing and critiquing the knitting patterns, because, hoo boy, that's one snark flag we can let fly.

Knit.Wear Spring 2013: A Review

Interweave's knit.wear Spring 2013 issue is out! Let's have a look at its patterns.





I very much like this tank. Great graphic pattern on this design.





Well, this back-buttoned sweater is something different. I like the texture and I can't say this design is unflattering from the front. The back view is perhaps a different story. It does put the butt on display, so you may want to give this design a pass if you don't want that.





With a thick waistband that will thicken your midsection, overfull, dowdy lines and a generally drab air, this is a skirt that can be said to do it all, because it will simultaneously bulk you up, frump you up, and depress you into finding solace in the nearest box of doughnuts. Not that I'm anti-doughnut.





This dress is really a remarkable design. It has good lines and the stretchy diamond stitch pattern is so fabulous I want to see it used throughout in an entire knitwear collection. If you wouldn't feel comfortable in something this snug and short, make it a little longer and looser.





This cardigan sits badly when the model is sitting and when she's standing, has a back that looks like it was pieced by a eight-year-old, and in general has all the style of a cleaning rag. Was this thing intended to go with the skirt and the accompanying doughnut binge above?





I must admit this "overlay vest" has a certain modern, minimalist appeal and isn't unflattering, but it looks for all the world like some kind of body bandage. You could probably save yourself the knitting time and just sew one out of surgical gauze from the drugstore.





I have a bias against asymmetrical styles that I'm trying to overcome, and I'm proud of myself for being able to honestly say that I think the right side of this sleeveless top looks good. It's the left side of the neckline that I have a problem with. Leaving that extra inch of the left side front unconnected to anything makes it look unfinished, or like it's coming apart. I'd shape the left front shoulder to match the corresponding back shoulder. Or more likely make a collar for it to match the one on the right. Oops, guess I'm not actually making all that much progress in setting aside my asymmetrical bias.





This oversized sweater isn't going to be the most flattering item, but it does drape well, and sometimes you do want to just throw something on and be comfortable. With its asymmetrical hem, side-to-side construction, and crocheted hem, it manages to achieve a certain interesting texture and polish. It looks pretty good when viewed straight on and with the model standing straight up, and that's a crucial test of clothing design.





This short-sleeved pullover will do nothing for the figures of most women.





This is the story of a tank top that wanted to grow up to be a dress, got stymied, and settled for an unhappy life as a tunic, with a sad-looking abbreviated skirt that hangs badly. The moral of the story is "knit another pattern".

I bet I was never Aesop in any of my former lives.





The blurb for this design says, "dropped stitches create striking details in this light cardigan." "Striking" in this context meaning "it's going to strike everyone that your sweater is coming apart/has been partially eaten by rats, and they'll be forever telling you so." And it's going to catch on everything constantly. I suppose this concept is post-modern and cutting edge and all that, but I can't stand to go about in a piece of clothing that needs even the tiniest repair job, and in the words of the totally not post-modern and unhip Hall & Oates....





I'm usually not a fan of the open front or partially buttoned cardigan, but I rather like this one. Maybe this issue of knit.wear is wearing me down and practically anything would look good at this point. No, I think I sincerely like this. It's a smart little cardigan. It hangs well, has waist shaping in the back, and has good, even crisp, lines. You won't be able to wear it open, but then... it is open. And I learned one advantage to this style from looking at Ravelry project pictures: this style can be good for maternity wear, because it lets your stomach do whatever it needs to do.





I can't be that worn down, because I don't like this top-buttoned cardigan. It's frumpy. If this sweater were buttoned all the way down, this model would look exactly like a painfully shy and awkward pre-makeover character in some eighties teen movie, and whose first act of rebellion against her fuddy-duddy, overprotective parents would be to pick out some wild, funky outfit in the nearest thrift shop, leaving her sweater wadded up on the change room floor. Omitting two-thirds of the buttons hasn't really changed that.






I wanted to like this vest. It looks pretty good on the cover, the lace is nice, and it offers the wearer a chance to show off a great shawl pin. I speak as someone who has a beautiful shawl pin languishing away in a drawer. But the vest hangs so badly in the back, as though it were both too big and too short, that it ruins the overall appeal for me. And even on the cover the one shoulder we can see isn't sitting right.





Pretty lace shawl.





If this skirt can bulk up this probably very slim model's waistline this much, just think what it can do for yours! A drawstring waistband wasn't a good idea here, and the overall shape isn't flattering either.





Not a bad cowl. It lies gracefully and the texture is interesting. I don't know who will wear cowls in the spring and summer, but hey, not here to judge. No, wait, I am here to judge.





Another lace shawl. The texture is pretty, but the length is maybe a little awkward. Shawls are actually a little tricky to wear — it can be difficult to get the proportions just right for the wearer.





Nice top. It's got clean, flattering lines, and it's striking yet something you'll be able to wear a lot. I don't like the brown and yellow colourway, but this could be done in any colours you want. Including brown and yellow if that's what you like.





Nice simple pullover. I like the concept of using three gradient shades of the same colour. It's an easy yet sophisticated colour scheme that anyone can put together in the wearer-to-be's favourite colour.





I'm trying to be open-minded about this "I-cord cowl". Yes, not everyone is as conservative as I am, yes, sometimes contemporary designs like this can totally work on the right person with the right outfit. But I still can't really fathom why anyone would want to go all to the trouble of making what is essentially a pile of rope for her to hang around her neck for an "of-the-moment" look when, with probably significantly less time investment, she could make a beautiful textured cowl that she could wear for years.





Sleek and striking tank that will knit up quickly and easily.





This striped top looks to me like the offspring of a marriage of convenience between a good concept and a mediocre execution. These stripes should look sharply graphic and visually effective instead of looking like they just don't match. The front doesn't hang all that well either.





Cute striped hat. Of course you can probably find a pattern almost exactly like this for free on Ravelry, or adapt a similar free pattern to make a hat exactly like this.





I quite like this little knitted t-shirt. Colourblocking is actually difficult to do properly, and using the existing the existing seams of a garment to define the colour fields is a good direction to go in. In this case the designer has not only used those seams but played with them by making the back extend to the front of the design in order to create both a sleeve and a colour block. It's really ingenious and effective. It's a hallmark of good design when a very simple design like this one looks so polished and striking.

Another Reason Not to Drink the Kool-Aid

Here's an excellent tutorial on how to hand dye yarn using Kool-Aid from the knitting blog Maiya knits. Mayhem ensues.





Here's another skein, dyed by Maiya with different flavours. Maiya has also experimented with dyeing yarn just one shade of Kool Aid. And she's not alone. There's a Ravelry group called What a Kool Way to Dye that shares information and ideas on how to dye with Kool Aid. Knitty also offers us a tutorial on how to dye with Kool Aid.





The resulting hats, made for Maiya's two little boys. I've never dyed any yarn, but I may have to try out this idea. It sounds really easy (you basically just make some Kool-Aid ice cubes and set the yarn outside in the sun), and the resulting colours are so fresh and so candied in tone that they are, as you might expect, perfect for kid's items.

Coming up: Tomorrow's post is the Knit.Wear Spring issue review!

Knit o' the Irish

So if you're feeling in an Irish mood today and want to knit something that suits the day, you could knit this. That is, theoretically. But actually you won't, because I haven't included a link and you'd have to do some googling to find the pattern yourself and you don't want to bother doing that at all. No, you really don't. Because I said so.





After that first pattern, we have a palate refresher in the form of this Shamrock Hat, by Andrea Rainey. This pattern is available for $5.00(USD).





Here's another another hat, the Lá Fhéile Pádraig (St Patrick's Day) Hat, by Katinka Knits, that you can be proud to wear to the parade. This pattern is available for $5.25(USD).





If you want to be more subtle about your Irish spirit, here's a fetching pair of Shamrock Socks, designed by Phazelia. This pattern is available for $3.00(USD).





If you were looking for just a small St. Patrick's Day project to whip up by day's end, you can make yourself some shamrocks to pin on your coat, and bling them up. These shamrocks were designed by Vickie Howell and the pattern is available on her blog.





You can't begin too early to instil some Irish pride in your child. Or maybe you can, but these shamrock booties are still really cute and would be quick to make. They're another of Vickie Howell's free patterns.





Serve up your Irish stew and Irish whiskey cake with the proper accoutrements. These potholders/dishcloth patterns are an All Free Knitting pattern.