Friday, 9 August 2013

Charlotte's Funeral Dress and Other Knitting Fables

Jock wore his Divine sweater on the days that he needed to remind himself of his life's motto, "Don't be a drag; just be a queen."

Candra put on her new knitting ensemble and gazed at herself in the mirror, wondering if her outfit needed a cowl and earmuffs to be really complete or if it was perfect just as it was.

Petra hadn't quite been able to put together enough designs for the show, so she'd had to include some cobbled together pieces, such as this project from her ninth grade home ec class. Fortunately, she thought, the right pair of strappy heels can make anything work.

Tansy's traumatic childhood experience of reading "Charlotte's Web" often manifested itself in unexpected ways, such as when Tansy had found herself designing what she called "Charlotte's Funeral Dress".

Lena was very proud of her new collection, Witch Couture, and was sending out promotional packages to every coven her marketing team could find. She thought it was really time practitioners of the dark arts moved beyond tatty black shapeless robes.

When it was her turn to host the Stitch n' Bitch meeting, Tina thought she'd liven things up a little with a simple of game of ring toss using rings she'd knitted herself, only to find that the Stitch n' Bitchers got totally carried away. Next time she wanted to put ring toss on the agenda, Tina thought, she'd make sure they played it *before* they drank all those gin and tonics.

Carrie found the classic tam very boring and decided she wanted something different, something that would make a statement and also serve as a good way to take her cat to the vet without having to worry about those dumb "no pets on public hours during rush hour" rules.

As Angie walked down the runway in her latest creation, a piece that she felt made an incisive social comment on the path of a woman's life by melding a young woman's bikini to a granny's afghan, and heard the dead silence of the audience, she had a stricken feeling that perhaps her mother was right, that women really did want wearable clothes from designers rather than wearable art.

Sometimes Geraldine liked to take her stash to the middle of the woods, get naked, and just commune with her yarn.

After model Sadie threatened to walk off of the job on the morning of the show if forced to wear the crocheted afghan sampler dress, Colette the designer came up with a compromise: she'd design and whip up a mask that made a statement about the death of true design that Sadie could wear to disguise her identity. Sadie agreed reluctantly, but though she honoured the agreement she kept muttering something about "quitting this shit to go back to school to become a CPA."

Coming up: Look for my review of Vogue Knitting's Fall 2013 issue tomorrow morning.

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